Right before you leave is always the hardest. You always start having these amazing last few days at home and you wonder what it will be like when you return. Part of you starts to worry that everything will change and you’ll come home and be left out. I always have a moment where I wonder ..”will I regret leaving?” I think right now I’m having a moment where I see how different choices made my life look completely different than others would have. Even though there’s a part of me that for some reason wants to stay, there’s a bigger part that knows I will look back and wonder “what would have happened if I would’ve went?” I think when these moments come, that’s when I know God is doing something HUGE. It’s when I know he’s about to flip my world upside down.
I’m in the single digits for the countdown to departure! I can’t believe how close it is (I’ve actually begun the packing process! CRAZY!) I feel preparation is here and it’s eye opening. There’s been a lot of making peace with the past this week and that has been like medicine to my heart. I’ve been desperate for that for such a long time.
All of this now indicates to me that God is moving me forward. I know He has something great for me on this trip and I know that it will change me. While a part of my heart is sad, there is a bigger part welcoming the change, knowing that I won’t necessarily lose what I have now, but that I will see it differently. I think I need that. I think I need that more than anything.
So here’s to FIVE DAYS until departure! I can’t wait to set off on this adventure with my amazing God!
ASHLIN BOYLES 