Back against the wall.

I’ve been blogging a lot more these past few days, huh? Guess that just means there is a lot going on inside of me. I am getting excited about this new adventure. Tonight on my way home, I just kept saying.. “We’re really doing this aren’t we?” and then I would die laughing. Thinking about this adventure with the love of my life is just beyond what I can even explain to you. He would just laugh back and say “we are! and there’s no one else i’d rather do this with!” now even though you’re probably thinking “uh excuse me? he would never say that!” well, he did. I knew what he meant though. This particular adventure.. it was meant for me.. it was planned since before my birth…that realization is just beyond what I can explain. I want to encourage you…there’s an adventure he has for that he’s planned since before you came to be. There’s no one else he’d rather experience that with.

Also, I think Mat Kearney wrote his new album with my life in mind. I think he knew that I was going on this trip and he was like “i’m gonna write a rockin’ album for her!” Well, okay, he probably didn’t…. but it sure feels like it. I know this entire album is going to be the soundtrack of this adventure…I’m pumped about that!

Tonight, I just had a lot of revelation about a lot of things. I’m learning my own heart. Lord knows that’s quite the journey. I’m learning who I really am…which is scary and AWESOME all at the same time. I’m so thankful for how the Lord made me… and then I see the screwed up parts and I’m like “ughhh” but then I see Him walk into those…and things start to change. It gives me hope…to know that I am not hopeless.

A lot of this probably seems like a bunch of randomness. It is. Forgive me.

A line that has stuck with me these past few days is .. “standing our backs against the of our lungs hallelujah where pain and love bleed into one.” (mat kearney…obviously) but that line just describes these past two years for me. It’s been this time of my back against the wall, crying out to the Lord and feeling as if I have no idea what’s going on, but I see the pain and love bleeding into one. I see God’s love just overwhelming me..and this trip is just a big step into that. It’s going to be an incredible time of just being with the One I love. I need that. He knows I do.

Once again, thank you all for your AMAZING prayers and support. I have been so blessed! Tonight was SUCH a blessing for me at both Courageous and the college bible study. God has blessed me with two great groups of believers surrounding me. Because of their love and encouragement I am better equipped to head off on this adventure!

So, now that it’s after midnight.. I can officially say TWO DAYS!!!!!

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