I love early mornings like this. It’s 3 am and the Lord has been taking me back through old journals. I’ve laughed, cried.. but mostly laughed. One of my favorite entries was one from Mexico and this is literally what it says:
“God, I have no idea what to even write…. ok, well I feel better.”and then the entry ended.
Needless to say, I bursted into laughter for about ten minutes. I kept thinking, that is probably the most ridiculous journal entry of anyone’s life. Then my heart somewhat started to break at the simplicity of the revelation I received. I didn’t babble on and on about whatever was going on (and who knows what it was), but rather just a second in his presence, a second before him, just simply telling him the state I was in, laying my heart before him..and everything was better. I wish I had that kind of simple faith these days. There have been so many days recently when I’ve just gone on and on through pages in my journal telling God everything I think about everything, which is good, but yet, at such a young age it was like I understood something I so easily forget these days. It’s not about the issues, the problems, the circumstances. It’s about sitting before him. I can still picture what writing that entry was like. I was most likely sitting in my bed in the home of my host family, meditating on the Word and had the realization that no matter how much I babbled, it was going to change how I felt. The only thing that would change me was getting before him.
So here’s to my child like faith. May it return in it’s fullness and may I realize that it’s not about my words, but rather his face. It’s about the fact that He knows me and I don’t always have to explain myself. He knows me and He hears my heart, even when words fail me.