Time is something that continues to awe me. Not necessarily limited by it, we are also somewhat confined to it. Some say it heals, but I don’t think it’s capable of producing such a miracle. However, I will not hesitate to say that time in itself is a good standard by which to measure the progress of our story of redemption.
There was a line that our worship leader sang yesterday that really shook me and it alluded to the idea that “I can sing the same song, but not be in the same place…” How true that is. Although the connection to the song may have changed, the song itself is still familiar and it’s funny how God speaks through the familiar.
Often times it’s memories that He uses to speak to the deepest parts of me. Moments of lying with my face in the carpet crying out, hours of beating the steering wheel and asking questions that haunted me, cooking in the kitchen, a moment on a sidewalk, a day by the sea. Those are the places he takes me to speak to me. And somehow going back still causes memories of old circumstances to surface, but it does not deepen or re-dig the wound. It only shows me a different perspective of a place i’ve seen before. It reminds me of how far I’ve come. It shows me who He is despite who I was.
Seeing the familiar from a new vantage point does wonders for the soul. Not entirely new, but not tainted with past anguish, it’s incredibly inspiring to the human heart. Being able to stand in places where you once were broken, hear songs that once ripped your heart out, see things that once caused you unbearable grief, are unusual ways to illustrate a story of redemption. But once they are drawn out, you nod with agreement at the statement “What I once counted as loss, I can now see as gain.” It’s a place that few people arrive at, but it is a destination that exists. However, the only travelers that recognize it are the ones who are willing to wait for it…and such is our dilemma. Time: the thing that both binds us and liberates us. The thing which we feel we have so little of and yet, the thing that exhausts us most. And the time produces waiting; the thing in which we all despise, but alas, it’s the wait that measures our healing and it’s the time and wait that tell the story in such a beautiful way.
Your story of redemption is one that will require these things, but it is a tale that must be told. For it was for that very story that His life was given. So that you might know Him and that this life that you now live would glorify Him. Entirely for Him and yet, graciously somehow an inheritance for you, it’s what binds you to Him and gives you reason to continue on. Your story of redemption is His gracious gift to you and one that I am convinced He is the only one worthy to write.
ASHLIN BOYLES 