I had a melt down this week. I’m talking an all out, water works included, melt down. I was having one of those, “i’m just not spiritual today” days and just let it all fall out.
Then, as always, events inevitably followed that made me realize what a complete idiot I am. God began to not only speak and tell me the coolest thing, ever… he confirmed what I needed to hear most and he started providing in ways beyond my wildest dreams. Needless to say, I felt really ridiculous for breaking down earlier in the week.
I think there’s something to that though. I think God is teaching me so much about grace during this season. It’s okay to not always have together, to not always have a huge amount of faith.. he’s teaching me truth behind 2 Timothy 2:13.
“If we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is.”
I’ve quoted it a million times, but over the past two days I have seen it come to life. Last night held so much breakthrough for me. While I’d considered not even attending a certain event, somehow, God got me there and in spite of my own issues and fleshly problems, he spoke. It wasn’t a huge fire, or a huge wind… but, of course, it was that gentle and quiet whisper, the one I have grown to love so much over these past few months.
I always wait and want the earthquake or the fire, but sometimes when those things occur, I forget them quickly, but there’s something about the whisper that buries itself down inside of me and even if I try, I cannot lose the grip it has on me.
After encountering a huge amount of INTERNAL breakthrough, I came home to a gift of external breakthrough. It meant so much more to me after what I’d just experienced. It was the cherry atop the sundae. It was God in his goodness and I was able to feel and perceive his love and provision in a way I never had before.
I write this to encourage you that breakthrough will come. It is often not in the manner in which you expect, but one that is far better. It is often times that the internal breakthrough occurs before the outer. Trust him. Although you’ve heard it a million times, take this as a million and one… He is good.