The squeals of the railway echoed throughout the city and I tucked my scarf tighter and hovered over one of the thousands of candles lit throughout the streets of Atlanta. All else was quiet and I could nearly hear the beating of the hearts of those huddled around me. Freedom, something I thought I knew, and something I am quickly finding out I haven’t been able to define in a long time.
I feel like I’ve lost a lot recently. Perhaps my view of how I thought my world would look. Yet, I’ve gained a new perspective on Christ, one that I wouldn’t trade for the pile of things it seems I’ve had to give up. Freedom, I’ve found, isn’t about an ability to choose what I want, but rather the glorious opening of my eyes that gives me an ability to joyfully see the will of God. Not only to choose that, but to realize it would be impossible for me to desire anything else.
As a glowing sea of my generation lifted it’s voice toward heaven in a shout for change, a song of intercession and a cry for justice, I knew I was standing in the middle of God’s heart. I was at the center of His will and in that moment my heart came into alignment with His. The beating of my heart in perfect harmony with the roar of His. In all of this I realized that my loss no longer stood at the forefront of my life because woven throughout the remnants of my pathetic ruins was a cord of redemption. It stood out among the ashes and spoke of the story being written daily by the One who loves me most. Oh, how he he has taken the days and bound them together strategically, how he has painted the pages with pictures of grace, favor and truth. How the words have been penned so elegantly. When I see this story, I see how it’s cover has been marked not just with a volume number or simple title, but rather a mysterious name that calls to the deeper things I can’t even understand yet. One page interprets another and the author intertwines each plot, character and setting into the former and the yet to be. I am grateful that the story does not stop at the end of 2011, but it continues on. A story of mystery, romance, action, war, loss, grief and ultimate victory. I am in awe of God’s ability to shift everything in just a week and how he can bring change and restoration in the last breath and wind of my heaviest storm.