This morning as I was taking Jordan to leave for her trip we had a hilarious conversation about how Sunday mornings are always the mornings in which everything goes wrong. Obviously, it’s a strategic plan of the stupid devil because why on earth would he want us to enjoy the sabbath? Anyway, it got me thinking about it and even laughing at how ridiculous it can be… it’s so funny that I can’t even get angry or annoyed anymore.
A) Losing shoes. It is a known fact in my household that when Sunday morning comes, even if we laid them out the night before…my shoes will magically be missing. There must be incessant throwing of clothes, covers, couch cushions and crawling on hands and knees before we can get to church. I remember every week as my dad was trying to get ready to preach a sermon, he’d have to go through this whole house in his suit looking for my shoes. Now, it’s usually me running around in my robe screaming “who has my shoes?” (except often times since we’ve been older it’s been because Jordan took them). Funny thing is, I don’t remember, but I wouldn’t doubt that I hid my dress shoes as a child so that I could wear tennis shoes with my dresses, I hated dress shoes. Still do.
B) I have no gas. While this didn’t used to be a problem as a child (because we lived less than 100 yards away from the church), now it seems to inevitably happen. I can be certain that even if I had gas the night before, somehow my tank will surely be on empty as I head to church (already late). Never ceases to make me laugh.
C) “Someone is knocking on the door!” Never mind that it’s like 8 am on SUNDAY and you’re knocking on the door of a PASTOR, it never stopped anyone from doing it. Rather than reading the huge sign that told the church times, they’d always come to the door and knock (two hours early) and say “are you having church?” .. No, I’m just standing here in my robe and towel at 8 am on Sunday because I’m getting ready for a stroll around my living room.
D) Jordan is cooking toaster strudels again. There was a 97% chance as children that for breakfast Jordan would fix a toaster strudel. For whatever reason, the smell of toaster strudels plucks a gag reflux cord in me. I literally get sick if I have to smell those horribly crusty and disgusting breakfast tragedies. It always set me back about twenty minutes when I had to bury my head in the pillow and wait until the sickly smell wafting through the house finally died.
E) The ever hilarious forgetting deodorant. Jordan and I were cracking up because it is often in the midst of madness of points A-D, you somehow ALWAYS forget to put on deodorant. We decided this morning it’s a scheme of the devil to keep you from raising your hands in worship. You’re obviously NOT going to get your praise on if you fear that you smell worse than Jordan’s toaster strudels. We’ve learned our lesson, I now carry travel sized deodorant everywhere I go… I laugh in the face of satan!
F) “I just woke up ten minutes ago, I can’t sing yet!” It was the famous cry of my life as a young girl. Every day of my life I woke up ten minutes before I had to leave the house and threw on whatever was available and RAN to church. By the time I got there, I was exhausted and there was sweet Jordan, who’d been practicing and preparing for thirty minutes while I was sitting sleepy eyed on the couch drinking my traditional morning Pepsi. Bless her, I wouldn’t even get in the microphone for the first two songs because I had morning voice and if I tried to sing I’d miss every note as well as sound like a drunk old man.
All of this and more is what a normal Sunday morning has always looked like for me. I seriously laugh about it now…it doesn’t even bother me anymore. I think I might would miss these things if they weren’t around…they’re just a part of my life that is now set in stone. Whether it’s getting trapped behind Grandpa Moses on the highway, realizing you left the hair straightener on or not being able to get every single imperfection out of your daily ponytail…Sunday mornings are often the craziest day of the week. As I now sit eating breakfast, drinking coffee and enjoying the beauty of the morning I realize that even in all their mayhem and madness, there’s something special and captivating about these holy days.
ASHLIN BOYLES 