I’m so sick of so much. Over-thinking, over-speaking and over-complicating. That seems to have been the way of my life over the past couple of years and I am so over it.
I just want to do all the things that make me come alive, the things I haven’t been able to do in the recent past. I want to ride with the windows down, read classic fiction, sit on a porch, watch the sky change from blue to black. I want to wake up and go for a run, make the best cups of coffee, grow a garden. I want to live with excitement in my heart, love on my tongue and adventure as my path. I want to say all the things I’ve bottled, I want to mean all the things I actually do say.
I’ve never been so grateful in my life than I have been these past few days. I’m thankful for where I’ve been, where I am, and what’s ahead. Things are changing and oh, it’s so beautiful. All the things I thought I wanted; how I’m seeing everything from a new point of view. I’ve been so caught up in trying to make a life for myself that I’ve failed to enjoy the one I’ve already been given. I’ve missed all the beautiful things God has put right under my nose. I’ve completely forgotten how to drink in the beauty of a day, to savor the sweet moments that ignite life in the inner parts of me.Maybe it was somewhere between dancing on mountaintops or blasting corny music on the quaint streets of Boone. Maybe it was just getting away from everything that’s anchored me in an ocean that has been drowning me for so long. Really, I think it was finally deciding to agree to see what matters, what doesn’t and that I don’t have to know why.
As the cold weather gives its last glance, I pray that this which has been a cold heart remembers how to beat as it was intended to. May I see the beauty in everything, may I live in simplicity and walk in freedom. Life, in this moment, is good. I pray I take time to be grateful for it.