Ashlin B
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I’m sorry I couldn’t stay. These are the words stuffed in my pockets. I’ve almost left them in a voicemail. I’ve tried to write them in a letter. I’ve felt guilty for learning how to let go. Letting go always sounds like defeat, like weakness. It feels like wearing a shirt that says: I wasn’t strong enough to stick it…
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I never really understood love until Sunday when I was sitting in the emergency room. He was screaming, tears running down his tired, red face. Pressed close to me, it was like holding fire, he was so hot and in such pain. I’ve never felt more helpless. I’ve never felt more afraid. It was a few hours before…
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We all want something. There’s something across the room that your eyes keep falling on. It’s probably got a leather jacket on and knows the art of casually leaning against a concrete wall. You’ve never fit into crowds with leather jackets because you think it’s pointless to invest and try wearing something you could never pull off in the first place.…
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Honestly, I didn’t think I would make it out alive. I remember that the sky was black, the darkest I’d ever seen it. One hand on the steering wheel, the other holding the back of my neck. I was screaming and sobbing. I was fighting for my life and at that point, I felt it…
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I got it all. I had written my dreams on a white piece of poster board. I laid it all out there and decided to believe it was possible. In just a few short days, I got it all. It happened exactly like one of those end-of-the-movie moments. My dreams all started coming true and I felt alive in…
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I wish someone had told me back then that love is not a competition. I wish someone had come to me and said: “If there ever comes a time when you’re thrown into the ring and told to fight is to prove yourself, to prove your value; if you feel the need to make people think you’re something different…
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Sunday has ruined me for other days. Sunshine, windows down, music sailing through speakers, it’s like his wind whispers: you’ll never be able to settle when you see how I’ll always come back around for you. I’ve tried to fall in love with Mondays, Thursdays, but they can’t hold a shred of my heart once he starts knocking.…
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The first time I slipped on that jacket, I was walking right into a war zone. Head held high, shoulders straightened, I made the choice to be fearless and forgiving. That jacket became a trophy for a day that I decided to be the bigger person. Seasons changed, the jacket got packed away with other…
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I’ve forgotten how to be enchanted. We live in a world where text messages are considered pursuit, apps can act as a crystal ball for choosing your future spouse, phone calls are for old people and face to face dinners where phones stay tucked in our pockets are almost extinct. I used to spend weekends watching movie…
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Last week my housemates gave me a challenge. It was to sit face to face with a friend and stare at them for 4 minutes. Don’t talk. Don’t look away. Just look at them straight in the eyes. There were a lot of moments when we shifted uncomfortably or had to hold our breaths to keep from laughing. It…
ASHLIN'S BLOG 