#notforfacebook

At the request of another blog reader, I was asked to blog about hashtags and facebook…that when used together, like evolution and scripture, do not work.

Hashtags, for all you non twitter users, are used to categorize your tweets and point out key words. This is not necessary for facebook. If you use a hashtag on your status, no one is going to categorize it. No one is going to understand. People will think you had a typo. Especially since facebook now harbors the older generations. They’re going to sit there for the next hour and a half trying to read #iwishpeoplewouldjustunderstandhowfreakingcooliam … I feel like we’re moving backwards, back to the days when everyone started chat language. Everyone over fifty (and even those of us under it) spent years having to learn what CUL8R, ROFLMBO, TRDMF and every other ridiculous acronym meant. Give the older generation a break, don’t ask them to decipher your internet weirdness. Not to mention, I wonder how many old people have thought to themselves “how is that your phone number?”

Twitter users also use it as a way to smoosh words together so they can fit all they want to say into a measly 140 characters. This is not necessary, you can type an entire novel on your facebook status (just ask about 1/3 of my friends list), you can’t use this as your excuse. You don’t have to put #iwishpeoplewouldgetwhereimcomingfrom … you can type it out FULLY on your status. Hitting that space bar a few times isn’t going to waste you that many seconds (or cool points).

My favorite is when someone uses it as an “in your face” ending to their status. Example: “People are so stupid. I don’t want to hear your drama on facebook, grow up and get your own life. #freakingidiots ”

I’d rather read their break-up drama than watch you misuse the function of a hashtag. As for you people, you are what you hashtag!

Hashtags are also used on twitter to show trending tweets (what’s being talked about). For example, if a natural disaster happened, people might use it to tell their opinion or story of what happened to them. Then others can search out new updates on that particular subject. All you facebook users, putting things like #anotherdayinthelifeofPattyCakes aren’t going to cause a riot. Other people aren’t going to update their status to #anotherdayinthelifeofPattyCakes. They aren’t going to spend the next six hours searching their news feed for other #anotherdayinthelifeofPattyCakes status updates (and it would take that long since there is no where on facebook to search for hashtags!) Believe it or not, you’re not going to create a crazed trending status of the day in the life of Patty Cakes.

Maybe I’m just not hip. Maybe it’s not about the functionality of the hashtag, but rather how boss I feel when I tag it on to the end of my facebook status like I just slapped the world in the face with my sheer craftiness. Whatever. If it makes you feel cooler, I won’t  deny you that; however, I just may unsubscribe from you and giggle as I travel to the site where it’s acceptable and tweet your name next to #hashtagonfacebook.